Unspeakable

I love going out with you. I can always tell that you're having a good day by the way you swing into my arm before leaving the house, and I always know when you're tired and down by the way you encircle those lifeless arms around me. I am with you everywhere you go and I witness every movement you make. It makes me feel special.

Special like knowing the way the corners of your mouth come up in that half smile of yours. The way your eyes squint in the sun. The way your gait is light and half rushed. The way the wind catches wisps of your hair. How the blood goes to your cheeks and lips when you run.

Yes, you're always running from one place to another, as if you cannot wait to see the next corner, the next flight of stairs, and what comes after this turn. It's like an adventure with you, you take me into the unknown, sharing with me new scenery, and taking in the new wonders by my side, all the time.

And it is during these times that I wonder to myself, if we could stay together forever like this. If eternity bliss was possible. You see, I don't just want to be here holding your arm. It is not enough. It is a different intimacy I crave, the kind that leaves you tremoring. The quivering that comes from two souls becoming too close to one another. If only I could let the words come out, I would tell you that my thoughts of you never stopped.

But you stopped. You stopped running. I was with you when it happened. It was at another corner you were about to turn. My arm was encircled with yours as usual, and I felt you slowing down. From the slight flutter of the tips of your lashes I knew. You have halted, because you have found what you were looking for. You have found the hand to hold your warmth and to share it. The eyes that look straight through yours. The eyes that reflected yours, and I could see two souls are shaking, resonating with the same rhythm. And both you and I know that you no longer have to run, because there is no more rush. Time stopped when you fell into his arms. And although you will still turn at corners, beat out new paths, and venture up flights of stairs into new heights, you don't really mind what happens next, because you found: together.

I will not and never will be part of your "together". This sad truth shatters me. When you let go of my arm I fell onto the ground, folded in despair, nothing more than an empty compartment. A leather heart stiffer and harder than before.

But I've never seen you this beautiful standing still.