RAGE: Hormones

My period came as suddenly as the autumn weather (seriously, the temperature dropped from 20 something degrees to 10 something in a day). And before I knew it the first thing in the morning I do is putting on some long sleeves and a grey cloud over my head.

PMS is a serious problem,  and especially so for someone who has already been born to amble along the neurotic edge. All it takes is one push from the hormones, and I am teetering/falling off the edge. I know a lot of nice people who get cramps and sore but still remain as nice and sweet like sugar. I, however, become extremely vulnerable and unnerving. The smallest remark from anyone could send me to depression or to anger management. And it seems to happen now more than before since I am in a country, confined to a desk or in a lab for hours just by myself. The more I am left alone, undistracted, the more easily I go on a rage.

Being 19 and close to that milestone 20, I try to be an adult and deal with these emotions in the old western way--lasso them up and throw them in the can (or the juvie, considering their immaturity). But being 19 and still growing pimples, I end up pulling lifelines: desperate phonecalls to close friends, chocolate, emailing my mom (skype is too much to handle), chocolate, an episode of Friends, and if all fails, more chocolate.

It's pathetic, irrational, and all natural. And when the phase ends, I always look back on it and say to myself: "Ahh..why was I all riled up for?" And have a laugh over how insignificant and little the problem was. That is until I stand and weigh myself on the scale...